Hannah Schneider

Losing What I Love Most

Losing What I Love Most is a 16mm short film that explores a potential future where I am losing my most treasured sense, my sight, and I struggle to see my beloved dogs.

I have found it difficult to come to terms with my uncertain future. What happens if, or when? I lose my vision and I can’t see my loved ones anymore? Will I eventually forget what they look like? The film was degraded using chemicals that symbolically represent, and are meant to prevent, the pain I feel due to my vision-loss-causing genetic disorder: hydrogen peroxide, lubricating eye ointment and gel, and rodinal developer made with acetaminophen. Fragmented clips are placed in decrementing length, decreasing in frame rate until the viewer is left with a singular frame, a partially recognizable image irrevocably eaten away by vision loss. I hope that after the viewer sees this film, they become more aware of how much of a privilege it is to have eyesight and how challenging it is to have that sense be threatened by a genetic disorder.

Screened at Binghamton University’s 2024 Student Experimental Film Festival